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　Why did Leon try to shoot Matilda unexpectedly, and why didn't he shoot her?

　I was vaguely wondering why, and then I found a post in one place.

　'Because he had made up his own rules.

　He had a rule he made up for himself: no shooting women and children, and because of that rule, Leon couldn't shoot Matilda.

　I think that's certainly the most plausible story. He said he wouldn't shoot her, so of course he wouldn't. Matilda is a woman, and she is a child. If you think about it according to the rule, it is a very striking story, so she can't shoot," he said.

　But is it really so? That is too simple. If he says he won't shoot, then the story is too simple. In the first place, I don't think this story is that simple.

　Why did they make the rule about not shooting women and children in the first place? I don't know the details, but I think Leon started out shooting women and children, because he was contracted to do so. Because he was contracted to do it on the job, so there was no reason not to do it. He shoots for a job, and then he gets paid. But I think it was such a bad aftertaste that it didn't end up that way.

　What was so bad about the experience that it was such a bad aftertaste?

　Perhaps that's where Leon became one.

　Or something.

　So there was this girl that he liked when he was in Italy, and she was shot in the head by her dad and killed. But the story was treated as an accident. And Leon wanted to get revenge on his father, so he made it look like an accident and assassinated his father as well. Yes, that's where Leon's plan is accomplished.

　That's where Leon first becomes one with the person he hates. He wants to kill her so badly that he wants to kill her, but when his revenge is over, the person he hates most in the world and the closest thing to her is, surprise, himself.

　So is killing, and so is making it look like an accident.

　You are obsessed with hatred, you act on it, and then you find that you are just like the person you hate. The tragedy of hatred is the new tragedy, and the tragedy of it all is that you look just like the person you hated. I think this was the first time Leon realized that hatred is not a source of confrontation or rebellion, but rather an emotion and a means to bring us very close to the subject. So Leon became frightened and left Italy, leaving his home and familiar surroundings for America. There, however, he found himself working as a cleaner. He didn't like his father and didn't want to live in the same place anymore, so he ran away, but the fate that awaited him in America was to become a cleaner. He is the most qualified, talented and experienced person in the world. Yes, his father was the one who helped him to develop his hidden talents the most. And to make a career out of it and make a living out of it. The irony of having to choose that.

　For Leon, who can't read or write, there probably weren't many jobs he could choose from, much less one that he was suited for and that would make him a top-notch one. Yes, he must have seen hell there, where he was literally forced to walk all the way down that road, and he must have cursed his fate there for what a harsh life and what an ironic fate it was. That's where, perhaps, there was a second unity.

　And then there was a third unity. I mean, there was a job to shoot a woman, or a child, and Leon carried it out. However, there was an unusually bad aftertaste.

　Perhaps the woman reminded him of the woman he once liked, and the child reminded him of his former helplessness. I didn't realize how weird it was to kill a guy in that position!　And that's where I made the rules.

　No women and children are not to be shot, he said.

　And there is a fourth unification as a fourth oneness, and I think that was the moment when I tried to shoot this Matilda in the head.

　She must have felt the first, second and third unification, and she didn't want to, and she didn't want to.

　And I think that's what I thought the night I hid Matilda.

　You're right, that's how I got Matilda into hiding. But what happens next?　Can you carry Matilda's life on your shoulders?　If it was discovered that I was harboring Matilda in the first place, I would be in danger, too. So it would be safer for me to kill Matilda and dispose of her body. I had to do it sooner rather than later.

　I decided that the best course of action would be to kill Matilda.

　But then, when I put the gun to Matilda's head. What was happening here?

　This is the fourth unification phenomenon.

　The killing of her father by making it look like an accident, and also the fact that she crossed into the United States.

　Furthermore, shooting Matilda in the head.

　This will only bring him closer and closer to that father... Yes, for Leon, who knows that hatred is the most effective and most ironic fate that brings him closer to that object, this is exactly what he does with that most hateful person. He said it was nothing more than integration.

　And I made a rule. No women or children.

　But I was in trouble, so I thought I'd shoot her, and I pointed the gun at Matilda.

　Then I thought, "What the hell is this?

　What the hell am I doing?

　As soon as I did this, I was going to turn into her father.

　If it's a rule, you can set up a special rule. If you think you're in danger, then you have no choice. But I don't want to be a part of that father's life.

　If it's inconvenient, if the subject doesn't like it, we'll turn it off and solve the problem. We'll make it look like an accident. That's not going to change the story of his father. And I would just start a new life that I had followed.　

　And I'm stuck in this loop for the rest of my life and I'm afraid that I'm going to be stuck in it forever.

　What Leon sees here isn't Matilda's life or anything like that, and it's not about kindness or rules.

　It's the end of hatred and cursing how ironic my life is, and I don't want to do just that!　It's a cry from deep inside me that says, "I don't want to be with my father! I don't want to be with that hateful father! And this rotten loop of life, the same thing over and over!

　I think that this kind of thought is the only reason why Leon didn't let me shoot Matilda here.

　There is a pride in oneself that says, "I'm different from him," but this is something that can no longer be hidden, and no matter how you try to put it, all you can say is, "What you and he are doing is the same. That's what we know, we know it, but we have to deny it, and it's something that absolutely has to be denied.

　That's one thought (a delusion named) that is contained in this one scene, lol.

Translated with www.DeepL.com/Translator (free version)